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reclaiming my time.
reclaiming my time.
reclaiming my time.
–representative maxine waters
reclaiming my time.
reclaiming my joy.
reclaiming my love.
reclaiming my labor.
reclaiming my radiance.
reclaiming my energy.
it seems we stand at a crossroads. the sun, intimidating and honest in scorpio, squares the nodes of the moon and the truth will be difficult to turn away from. the nodes of the moon are karmic points in the chart which relate to our soul purpose. the south node tells us where we are coming from and the north node tells us where our soul wants to go. the work of reclaiming and remembering the wisdom and memory of the south node may take lifetimes. the work of ‘attaining’ the north node takes lifetimes.
what a relief. when the timeline expands to infinity, what seems urgent is less so. the learning/growth/expanding we are compelled to do, hopefully grows less frenetic, what is it erykah badu said about this? maybe next lifetime.
when the sun squares the nodes our will is being called into question. will we step into the future brave, heart-open, and determined to be free? are we willing to leave behind narratives that prioritize the mind over the heart? narratives too cold to suit us any longer? will we connect with others outside of our households and family and build community? can we release the stories we tell ourselves about who we are so we can get a bit more free? can we move away from what we have been conditioned to believe and create our own stories?
we are being called into joyful madness. when we choose to decondition ourselves we consent to a journey of getting to know ourselves fully. we also consent to a process of being different, unique, and a little bizarre. the south node is in aquarius after all, and the south node must be reclaimed so we can remember the lessons we learned a lifetime or two ago. aquarius teaches us that fitting in at the expense of our freedom is a kind of death. aquarius reminds us that we can say no to the rules, that we can choose to no longer participate.
if aquarius offers us madness is it leo who offers us joy. it is leo who reminds us that it feels incredible to be attuned to ourselves instead of someone else. to be able to shout with joy and acceptance, i am me and that is that is that. leo teaches us that when we move heart-open and honest through the world, the universe will rearrange itself to accommodate us, for who can deny the truth?
drapetomania, the frenzy which overtook an enslaved person to run away to freedom.
i got madness in my genes.
when you want to get free, there will be many who stare at you blankly wondering when you will quiet down. they will wonder when the hell you got so big. they will look at your magnificence and scoff as if it is you who is the problem. and there will be times you wonder if you really are the problem, if you could only calm down/take it down a few notches/grow up/want less/get realistic.
reclaim your madness dear one. it is your birthright and it has been alongside you your entire life. when there is fear in your heart that you will be lonely in your quest remember the other beauty of aquarius, community! there are people in the world who share your madness and as deeply as you yearn for them they yearn for you. they may even be reading these words. root into your heart, cultivate a relationship with it, learn to listen to its needs and it will guide you toward those other hearts in need of a friend and co-creator.
we are finding each other.
take what works, leave what does not, and make sure to read your sun, rising, and moon sign.
woe be to those who attempt to contain your waters, dear pisces. woe be to those so unwise they expect you to separate your brilliance from the wellspring of feelings, memories, and intuitions that flow within you. separation simply will not do. if you are ready and willing, it is time to return to the wisdom of your emotions, intense desires, and shadows. it is time to reclaim your right to be messy and in it and all wrapped up in your shit. it is time to create rituals that allow you to root into your honesty, radiance, and joy so that you are able to move through the world brave and heart open. it is long past time for you to craft boundaries around your energy and labor so you are not so drained you are unable to explore your unchartered territory as you need to.
those less wise and more wounded may attach themselves to you and may expect you to heal them. worse, they may have convinced you that your value is wrapped up in your ability to heal, nurture, comfort, and do magic on their behalf. of course, it is no small thing to heal, but just because you can do a thing, does not mean others are entitled to it. it is time to release some baggage, dear one. and while that baggage may be those who siphon your energy, it may also be memories, from this lifetime or another that have power over you in this life because you have not released them, because you are holding onto them as a part of your narrative/identity. if these moments are conscious, are they limiting your ability to expand toward yourself? if they are unconscious, even if you cannot name them, can you feel that there is some shit that may need to be resolved if you are to move toward the liberation that is your birthright?
big work. may you find the community you need and gather support around you. may you allow yourself to be accountable to others so you can shape the world you daydream of into reality. may you acknowledge that you exist here, on this planet, at this time, at this place, and do all you need to do to accept this truth with some grace and even some joy. may you accept, though weighty it may be from time to time, that you exist within a societal and cultural fabric that needs the wisdom you bring. may you reclaim your time, and take a lifetime or two, or three, to gather your bearings and get comfortable. there is a divine plan and it is unfolding as it should, there not much to do other than be.
identity is a flimsy thing to cling to, a surface thing. to remain rigidly stuck in identities that no longer fit or serve you, even if they happen to be trendy, is to dishonor your planetary ruler and guardian in this realm, uranus. for it is uranus who would rather undermine identity, constantly proving how limiting and constricting it can be. it is uranus who relishes the opportunity to point out how many wars waged and relationships destroyed and vitriol put into the world over something that was supposed to connect people to one another. identity and the work we do to find those who identify with us, is worthy work, for we deserve to have many mirrors of ourselves in the world; it is what strengthens us and emboldens us. when that identity begins to be the rationale for us to be harmful toward other people, to deny other people their right to affection and connection, to be cold toward others? that is when uranus forgets the truth of themselves and becomes dangerous and destructive.
your heart contains an unspeakable knowledge and it will guide you to the people you need to build with and to those you need to serve. it will guide you toward the work which aligns you with your soul purpose, toward the ideals you must cultivate love and devotion for. words are limited in their ability to convey the truth but the heart knows. if you would like to know dear one, it is your heart you must work with. it is your heart you must heal. overtime, you may find the identities that gave you comfort begin to fall away. you may find that your truth calls you to new places and new people. what a blessing, for you deserve to be free and to do what serves you and your heart and your needs.
if your heart is still distant from you, may you have to courage to get to know and cherish it. may you have the courage to build with those who have learned to listen to their hearts and have surrendered to the wisdom stored within them. may you learn the power of your impulses and from time to time, let them take you somewhere new. may you continue to expand past words, language, identity, and all that may limit you while learning to love.
living a life of depth, love, and joy means we must consent to the strange alchemical process that transmutes the lives we were born with into the lives we yearn for. we must consent to our freedom and liberation and the immense work that it entails. we must learn to care for ourselves in the deep work we aim to do and we must learn how to listen to our needs along the way. the mind is one way to root into ourselves, but it is easily mired and limited. the heart and soul are much more reliable but often we need guides to understand them.
at one point, if you are to do the heart and soul work you are here to do, you will need to find wisdom that exists outside of you and surrender to it. perhaps it is magic, divination, or the occult. perhaps it is surrendering to intimate relationships with another(s) or building with elders and wise ones in your community. whatever the way, from time to time you will need to be in relationship to someone or something that allows you to uncover deeper parts of yourself and pushes you to unlearn what needs unlearning and decondition what needs deconditioning. there is simply no need to go it alone. this work cannot be done in isolation. release the untruth that there is something more noble about accomplishments or wisdom gathered by your lonesome. if you listen closely to your heart, does it not yearn for a bit more than that?
allow your guides to remind you of how much of your truth you already know. the truth that lives within your intuition, daydreams, night dreams, realizations, and creative work.
time to rest dear one. time to release into your waters and feel the last year of your life. what has grown more supple and spacious? what is tired? no need to reflect with the mind, that will come naturally. how is your body? it has endured the shifts, changes, upheavals, and feels you have gone through since the sun last prepared to spend time in your sign, may i suggest you allow it some ease and rest? may i suggest you allow it to release some of the stuff that has been sitting with you for a bit too long now? you can take all the time you need, it is a matter of prioritizing yourself, your wellness, and your vitality. and as you take that space and inform those around you, watch who steps up to hold the space you need and watch who continues to ask you for more and more and more, watch who forces you to hold your boundary line even when you have asked for their tenderness and compassion. what a blessing it is to know those worthy of your energy, affection, devotion, and adoration and those who selfishly drain you. what a blessing to continue shaping your life to be as sweet as you need.
as you take space and unwind, contemplate the narratives at work in your life that may have more power over you than you like. especially narratives that keep you stuck to missions and visions that rely on your erasure and exhaustion in order to flourish. especially narratives that keep you caught up in baes and lovers who bring more volatility into your life than calm. especially opinions and damnations and subtweets that hurt your heart and make it grow cold.
you are a blessing upon this earth dear one and you are one of its healers. the purpose you serve has been awaiting you for lifetimes upon lifetimes, but you must be brave if you are to step toward it. you must accept that the future is unknown and step forward anyway. you must allow yourself to go on new adventures, experience different horizons, and find the truths you seek. there will be many along the way who attempt to keep you small, and it will be up to you to trust so deeply in your magnificence that you do not give them time, space, or energy.
so rest, and then rest some more, and perhaps some more after that. when you are ready to step, you will and that will be that. bless you.
you may speak yourself into existence, dear scorpio. there will not likely be a moment when someone gives you permission or when space suddenly opens up in your life to allow you to unfold into yourself fully. more likely you will awake to your power and your birthright to exist in every area of your life, especially in your career, heart open, expressive, and free, and you will rearrange things accordingly. as you awaken you may have to unlearn the narratives and neuroses passed down to you that serve only to limit you. what limits the people who raised you need not limit you. stepping away from what we know and acknowledging the parts of our psyches shaped by our families can be challenging, and yet, if they are not living the life you want to live, you must be brave and willing to try something other than what you know.
let the magic you are tapping into empower you to continue exploring the values you cherish and wish to cultivate. continue building a belief system that soothes and comforts you, even if it is wildly different form the beliefs you had growing up. let your magic guide you to other souls vibrating the way you are so you can create the family you have always yearned for and deserved.
you possess power that comes from a deep place, dear libra, a place that few may have access to. i speak not of the power to control or manipulate others, but the power to shape your life as you need so you can find peace. the power to look deep within yourself so you can begin to gently shed what is no longer in service of your freedom and your joy.
release narratives that dictate what you should create and who your creations should serve, including the creation of relationships that end up limiting you more than freeing you. slowly work to release anything that blocks you from creating yourself exactly as you need, even if that means leaving communities and friend groups that simply no longer get you. instead of looking outside of yourself for clues as to who you should be and how you should move, return to your heart and let it express itself through you. listen to its wildness and the freedom it yearns for. listen to the strange things it wants you to put into the world, regardless of audience of side eye. create solely for your pleasure. create as your heart desires and watch as the people who have more than enough room for you find their way to you. rejoice when you watch other people around you emboldened to shine because you allowed yourself to shine no matter who or what, including your insecurities and demons, attempted to keep you small. that is more than enough service, more than enough work.
dear one, we have entered the era of beyonce, there is no longer the need to hide the parts of you that are enormous and magnificent. you may simply release limiting narratives of virgo that repeat practical, critical, detail-oriented, shy, behind-the-scenes, and on and on. virgo is an instrument of the divine, so called to perfect themselves that they are able to conjure divinity upon this earth. so called to hone their craft that they inspire others to greatness. forced to grapple with their deep sensitivity and intuition which from time to time coils itself into anxiety, fear, and uncertainly, they work with their shadows and demons to learn to quiet their mind. and in learning to quiet their mind, they have been able to acknowledge truths that only deepen their relationship to the divine and their spirit.
dear one, you are being called to recreate yourself anew. following only your heart and leaning mightily upon your courage, you have the opportunity to redefine what it means to channel the energy of virgo. that means you may have to leave some narratives behind, especially those that are more likely excuses for you to stay small. especially those that make you think your heart is cold and you lack the ability to nurture. it is no small thing to create yourself—it will take prayers, love letters, blessings, mantras, and faith. you will likely need guides to remind you of your strength and your purpose, guides like your ancestors. talk with them they are holding onto so much wisdom for you. allow them to guide you toward the unshakable joy they have been shaping to fit you for lifetimes. allow them to empower you when you feel overwhelmed with the thoughts and the uncertainties and the expectations you place so heavily upon your own shoulders.
focus simply on healing yourself and speaking what your heart needs spoken and you will find yourself a liberator. there is not much to do dear one, just return to your heart and your ancestors and let them guide you on, they have the information you need and the truths you seek.
healing is not easy, especially when family, chosen or otherwise, is involved. you may have to get uncomfortable and sit with feels that are difficult to grapple with. but if you intend to heal and to cultivate unburdened joy in your life, then it may be time for you to create a ritual that can support you through the shifts and discomforts. how can you support yourself everyday dear leo? what practices can you do, even for a couple of minutes, that root you back into your joy and allow you to commune with your heart? if you consent to your healing, you deserve some stability and nourishment along the way and you can provide much of that for yourself. so what is it that lights up your heart and gets you in your groove? and how can you create space for that joyful thing everyday? emphasis on joyful because if your rituals do not bring you joy…why do them?
it is time to choose yourself and your magnificence, even if you must rearrange your intimate relationships to make room for your bigness. prepare yourself to release narratives that tie you to volatility and pettiness that you know does not serve you. prepare to cultivate a life lived up front and filled to the brim with your warmth and radiance, even if you must work with your shadow. does it not make sense the greater your shine the greater your shadow must be? realize you serve a high purpose and allow that to embolden you to roll up you sleeves and craft the ritual space you need to do your shadow work.
yesterday angela asked, “what is shadow work?” it is choosing to face what you would rather not. it is honoring what you would prefer to sweep under the rug. it is getting to know the ‘worst’ parts of yourself. it is not about fixing or doing away with, it is a practice of compassion and understanding, it is a practice of friendship. it is simply making room for these parts of yourself so you can get to know them. what a terrible friend you would be if you just went around fixing and disappearing all the parts of your friends you did not like! a good friend makes space and keeps making space. a good friend learns to listen very closely and to ask questions when they are confused rather than make assumptions. a good friend sets clear boundaries to protect their energy, time, space, and capacity and makes intentional space to show up for others fully. shadow work is friend work.
let the sun in truth-seeking scorpio illuminate the ways your intimate relationships may deny you your right to be radiant, large, magnificent, and powerful. allow scorpio to show you, perhaps the hard way, the desires you have been denied in allegiance to another who may not be in alignment with you. there is only so long you can allow another to sap your shine and vitality away, the real question is what you will do when you realize something needs to change? big work. and before you get to thinking how to change those you are close to, reflect on what you can shift within yourself.
what narratives around commitment and partnership have you absorbed that may not actually serve you? narratives that demand monogamy/polyamory/some other relationship structure that may have you consenting to an arrangement that does not work for you. narratives that demand you be nurturing and show up constantly for another, regardless of how tired you may be or how much you would prefer to pour yourself into your work and healing. narratives that do not leave nearly enough room for you to develop your magic and intuition and to commune with your heart and your guides.
this work is not easy. it is uncomfortable, scary, and likely deeply inconvenient. what can you do but take your time and make space to root into your heart and your truth? what can you do but ask your ancestors for guidance and support? what can you do but take naps and snack and rest and allow yourself to come into these truths in your own time? trust that the universe will offer you the truths you need. and if you have done the work of creating space for ritual and release in your life, trust that you will know when to pause and listen to what is being offered to you.
which is simply to say, create space for ritual and release in your life. the rest will unfold as it needs.
being kind, considerate, aware, and intentional takes willingness to excavate your depths and uncover what propels you to do what you do. that work can be tiring and angsty and uncertain and anxious and you can learn to create intention and ritual around that work so you are slowly building toward the kind of person you most want to be in this world. allow some spiritual structure and discipline into your life so you can work with your ish in a way that does not sap you of energy because it is constantly on your mind or another thing on your list. better, you can create a joyful ritual that allows you to cultivate what you most want, whether that be a way of engaging with others, handling conflict, rooting into your feelings, boundary work, etc.
if you intend to speak your truth in this world and to let your words shine through you for others to experience and be healed by it is worth excavating what in your life causes you to doubt your tongue and your ability to speak the truth. what is it the drains you of your faith in yourself? what beliefs and ideologies, especially those taught to you as a child, cause you to wilt in fear when it is your turn to enter the spotlight and speak what needs speaking? who told you that you do not possess enough knowledge? who told you which knowledge you were allowed to access and which you were not? you have a right to be curious about the world and to learn as much as you like. you have a right to explore any and everything that excites you and calls to you. whether taboo, strange, kinky, or esoteric, if you intend to be free, you might as well allow yourself to explore.
let the wisdom you gather inspire you to share it. trust that someone needs to hear what you have to say and that they will be healed by your generosity to share the inner workings of your mind. dear gemini, please remind us we not so alone in this world. please remind us the voices in our heads are not so scary after all.
from your place in the world are you able to bear witness to the ways people treat one another? have you seen the unfairness, the untruths, corruption, devastation, and cruelty that encircles us? it is easy, upon seeing the state of the world, to focus on you and yours. it is tempting to narrow your scope so you can avoid being exposed to the pain that so clearly suffuses the world. you have a right to do what you need to do to access safety. and you are of the earth, so aligned with this planet that it may be impossible to not feel the pain it is in. it may feel impossible to not be overwhelmed by the psychic discord and upheavals we are going through. when you look around and things are just shitty what can you possibly do but embody the love and joy you need in the world?
even if the world does not heal, even if people continue to treat each other unkindly, even if in the grand scheme of things shit is kind of bleak, may you have to courage to live heart open anyway. may you have the courage to step into the fray so that you are able to create at least a part of this world you would not mind your children growing up in. may you step up to love that heals not only you but those around you. it is time to decondition yourself from the illusion-lie that this is how the world is supposed to be. it is time to believe that you can do more than shrug when you look around you and see the mess we have created. there is a message we desperately need you to share, and dear taurus, even if you do not know the specifics, do you know how it is meant to feel? if so, begin to embody that feeling so deeply you begin to shape your little part of the world into a place where there exists freedom. even if the world is still tilting off of its axis, may you feel empowered to create your own world and allow all those who want to participate to enter.
like the earth, growth is not always constant, there is a lot of decay, death, and downtime. do not be afraid to do very little, simply root into yourself and you will bloom when you have what you need.
your internal reality shapes your external reality dear aries. the work/career you attract has lessons to teach you and can be a reflection of your inner world. if you intend to build deeply with others and create tender, warm, and loving community you must become tender, warm, and loving. if you find yourself in a volatile environment prone to selfishness and lacking in scope, you must begin to look at the parts of yourself externalizing your volatile parts to you. we attract the lessons we need.
what is your work teaching you about the kind of world you actually want to build and participate in? what outdated ways of thinking about community no longer works for you? do the parts of you that yearn to express themselves freely get enough space to simply be? if you are constantly shrinking yourself to appease others at work, is it time to set some boundaries to let other people know how they ought to treat you?
when you set those boundaries, watch how people interact with them. and begin to make a concrete plan about what you will do if your boundaries are dishonored. if your heart cannot unfold as you want it to, begin to shift what needs shifting. this is your life dear one, you deserve work that nourishes you and honors the value you bring to it.