as we unfold together, we can be in dialogue about the ideas that are floating around our heads and our worries and ponderings. here are a couple of questions and my responses to them, maybe they will answer some questions you have as well. ’scopes follow as always with a particular eye toward monday’s upcoming new moon in sagittarius at 12:30 am new orleans time. *there are no audioscopes this week because i am still recovering from wisdom tooth surgery.
many many thanks to A for their generosity and bravery in allowing me to share their words.
N: Hey A, I am so glad you reached out. I have definitely failed you if I have left you with the impression you have failed! I am sorry, and I will try to be more clear in the coming weeks when I discuss saturn. If you are 25, I do not think you are currently entering your saturn return, it will be in 2.5 years from now when saturn enters aquarius.
I am not sure what a successful saturn transit looks like for you. My success and your success probably look very different and both our versions are valid and worthy. So perhaps, a place to ponder, is what success means for you in the context of your life and your trials. And work from there. One of the harsher aspects of saturn (and this could be other places in your chart as well) is comparison to others, or comparison to some idealized standard of self. I pray you do not fall into this trap! I pray you recognize you are worthy and valuable and get to know yourself at the deepest levels and to cultivate love for your self outside of all this noise.
So no, you have not failed, not at all! Work is relative and it means something unique and special to you.
it is choosing to face what you would rather not. it is honoring what you would prefer to sweep under the rug. it is getting to know the ‘worst’ parts of yourself. it is not about fixing or doing away with, it is a practice of compassion and understanding, it is a practice of friendship. it is simply making room for these parts of yourself so you can get to know them. what a terrible friend you would be if you just went around fixing and disappearing all the parts of your friends you did not like! a good friend makes space and keeps making space. a good friend learns to listen very closely and to ask questions when they are confused rather than make assumptions. a good friend sets clear boundaries to protect their energy, time, space, and capacity and makes intentional space to show up for others fully. shadow work is friend work.
this is one that i avoid answering because routines and rituals are so expansive, how can i possibly begin to describe? if you are still uncertain about where to start, my advice is to create an altar and to make a commitment to be present at that altar daily(ish). how should your altar look? idk! place what feels important and special to you, love letters to your selves, prayers, blessings, candles, rosaries, mantras, pictures, crystals, anything! it does not even need to be indoors, it can be a tree stump outside, a plant, anything that feels special and resonant to you. when it comes to ritual, accept the trial and error and just go for it, what sticks will stick. finding moon circles and witchy gatherings can also be a nice way to learn about rituals and participate in co-rituals with cool folks. and, be careful who you do magic with, trust your intuition if the vibrations are off.
no matter the masks you put on and no matter the reasons you must wear them, do not forget your bigness. you contain mysteries and multitudes awesome in their vastness and deserving of worship.
you contain mysteries and multitudes deserving of your worship.
from time-to-time, when you have space and willingness, pause to leave offerings to your selves. remember, simply acknowledging your vastness is offering enough. and there is nothing simple about acknowledging your divinity, is there? it is hard work and it can be disorienting work, especially when you are also called to serve others and the world. and if you even desire to integrate your selves? to align your personal work with your work in the world? this is hard work, permission always to turn away from it as you need to. know you can always return to your work. know that the universe has no need to rush you.
know that saturn is your ally, and if there are parts of your life that could use some structure and stability, some confidence and ease, saturn is beside you and ready. saturn can help you dig deep with your selves, to create a bit of form to what may feel (too) formless, to conjure up a path toward any selves you desire to step into. the coming new moon in sagittarius on december 18 at 12:30 am new orleans time will be conjunct saturn, a wonderful opportunity for you, for it will be a coming together of water (moon) and saturn. you know something about water, do you not?
pause, if only for a moment to call on saturn for what you desire. pause, if only for a moment to give thanks to yourself for the devotion and love you show yourself in consenting to this work.
love of another, sure—but what of other kinds of love?
love that makes you ache and calls you to come into deeper alignment with yourself?
love of your people.
love of family, chosen or otherwise.
love of your work.
love of your selves.
love is vast, too vast to be defined or confined within one person, one relationship, one belief, etc. is there another kind of love you have access to? a love that would bloom under your soft gaze and hold you as sweetly as you need?
love you can trust to hold you through bad days and bad jobs. love that will hold you through your despair, your fear, and your boredom.
if you desire a love like that, you must risk becoming playmates with the universe. for this kind of love, love at the cellular level, takes bravery and determination to find. it takes a yearning so deep it may hurt. it is not an easy love to get to, and along the way, if you are weary, rest. and perhaps, find those people around you journeying towards this mythic love, for they may be able to offer you some wisdom. you may have some wisdom they need.
you are not alone in your work, but like this love of yours, you may need to be brave and determined to find your people. use this coming new moon in sagittarius, joined with saturn, to make some commitments to whatever will allow you to feel a bit more love, to share in love, and be in love. what that work looks like is up to you. and if love is the last thing you are concerned about, call on saturn for whatever you need, for they are aligned with you and devoted to you. you set the tone, dear one.
remember that your ruling planet, uranus, can always be called upon to bring ease, blessings, and liberating change into your life.
the eighth house is nearly impossible to talk about. it is that place where your worst selves live and where your highest selves are born. it is where death, separation, divorce, and debt rise up to teach you about your attachments and how they yoke you. it is where the line between passion and rage is thin and where the urge to manipulate, control, and dominate can be a temptation too great to resist. it is where you are stripped to your core and your ego is shed so you may merge deeply with others and experience transcendent healing worth sharing.
when called to this house, as you have been with the north node’s slow move through leo, hold yourself gently. give yourself permission to be deeply imperfect, and caught up, and going through it. if you are focused on holding yourself together, perhaps the kindest thing you can offer to those around you (and to yourself) is to be honest, direct, and straight-forward about what they can and cannot expect from you.
and what is realistic for you to expect from yourself right now, especially if you are struggling to be well? the coming new moon in sagittarius is a potent time to be honest about the ways you are unraveling. to be honest about what is hard and the ways you must show up for yourself so you can carry on. use this moon’s conjunction with saturn to put some boundaries in place that allow you enough space to unravel as you need.
on the days/ weeks/ years of doubt and confusion, choose to listen to your heart and humbly offer it what it needs. trust that the doubt (and the demons) are a part of your process too. even if you are not ready to love those icky parts of you, to simply acknowledge that they exist is profound. remember that within the confusion there is magic, let that confusion call you to faith that soothes you and allows you to find peace with your selves.
dear one, may i also say? you have an invitation to be a warrior on behalf of your people, your home, your community, your ancestors, and your divine earth mother. no rush, but let that stir within you.
the heart knows.
what adventure is stirring within you?
what newness do you seek?
where is the knowledge you yearn for?
what does your freedom look/sound/feel like? (and if freedom is too broad, what would a bit more freedom look/sound/feel like?)
even in the swirl of daily life and general confusion, honor your intuition as best you can for you need it to get to your truth. make room to feel yourself.
make room for the urges, impulses, and irrationalities. hold yourself gently through your anxiety, fear, and frustration—as gently as you would hold another in need. practice asking yourself, even when you are going through it, what you need and how you can show up for your selves. if you intend to continue building up your empathy and compassion, your hard moments are some of your greatest opportunities to practice deep care and tenderness.
as the moon prepares to rest with saturn in your sign, what newness is rising up in you? where could you use some of saturn’s structure, confidence, and ease? where could some focus do you some good? saturn is your ally dear one, what will you two get up to together?
and where have your fantasies and day dreams been taking you, dear one?
deep rest and lush landscapes?
healing connection with others that allows you to release?
a nourishing meal?
whatever has been lighting you up, luxuriate in the feeling it gives you, find a way to hold on to it because this dream-vision can help support you on the hard days. you know, the days you are grinding and grinding and joy is difficult to find. the days when despite the immensity of your labor, things are not going your way. the days when you simply feel like not enough.
on those days remember your day dreams and root into the abundance, joy, and prosperity you are attempting to manifest. weave your day dreams into a faith you can rely on when you are in need.
remember that there will be times of bloom and times of decay, times when there is simply not much you can produce and you must do the unglamorous work of toiling. when the toil becomes tough, where can you escape into ease? how can you offer yourself space to contemplate and work through it and be stuck? can you create a sanctuary where you can be sad and uncertain?
you deserve the fullness of your feelings, and as you work toward what enlivens you, you will likely feel all of them. the trick is to support yourself through them as best you can and to acknowledge where you are at.
sagittarius demands honesty, this new moon take the space you need to feel your feelings. and may i say, just in case you need to hear it, optimism is overrated from time to time! feel your feelings sweet one.
nourish your heart for it knows your path to freedom. no matter how confined you may be or the limits in your life, trust that you can cultivate freedom of the mind. what that looks like, i cannot say, but you deserve a mind spacious and easeful. you deserve a friendship with yourself that is unshakable.
you are held by the universe and it will guide through your trials and tribulations. trust that you will find the sanctuary you need even if it is a long ways away. simply do your best to nourish yourself, do your best to accept your invitation to deep stability and wellness. remember that your best will look radically different from most people’s best, comparison, as tempting as it is, is unnecessary.
if you are willing and ready, be enraptured by the earth mother and rekindle your romance with her oceans and skies, with her plants and creatures. relish in the truth that you come from her and you will return to her, that you are merged with her and she will never abandon you. from that place, nourish her and nourish yourself as best you can.
just keep doing you, dear one, that is more than divine.
your stability is divine, dear virgo. whether mentally, physically, emotionally, energetically, financially, or otherwise, you deserve a solid foundation to work from. and yes, there exists shit outside of your control that may constantly undermine the stability you are attempting to build. and yet, build on you must. for it is from this place of stillness that you will be able to access your mysteries and magic, it is from this place you will be able to profoundly heal and be healed. it is from this place you will be able to do good works in the world.
so, knowing that your stability may not always be constant, that moments may come where you must recreate a foundation anew, where could saturn (who is uniquely suited for this work) help you build a foundation and find some stability? what is too unwieldy and needs some of saturn’s organization? where could some boundaries, with yourself or others, bring some ease?
call on saturn and ask them to help manifest what you need. ask them for the strength and will to truly find sanctuary on this earth. may you be wildly devoted to creating a home worthy of a being like you.
may you have the wisdom to nourish all of your selves, dear leo. may you be so devoted to all of you being free, the universe rearranges itself to suit you (as it should).
what, or who, is blocking you from your radiance and joy? remember that it is your internal reality that creates your external reality, so perhaps a better question is, how are former misunderstandings of your self beginning to grate against the revelations you have been coming to? as you discover yourself deeply, what is falling out of alignment?
as you come into your self, your relationships may also shift and change. you have the opportunity to (re)learn how to be divinely committed to another in a way that truly honors you. remember divine commitment can look many ways, romantic or otherwise.
you deserve to restructure your life to suit you. know that some of restructuring may be trial and error, know also that your heart knows and when you are in doubt, your heart is where you can always return.
it takes work to get free.
even if you are not set on freedom, it takes work to be comfortable and live a life of ease. it takes work to arrange your life to allow for the fullness of your expression and to be held deeply by yourself and others.
while you work, where could there be more ease? what could be simpler right now? what small details could make a big difference in allowing you to flow day to day with less stress? where have you spread yourself too thin?
it takes work to create enough space for ease and rest. to create the space you need to contemplate and exist in luxurious solitude. you deserve to feel your feelings in peace and to be able to tap into your inner flame, the one that inspires you to be brave and move boldly.
if your career is lighting you up and drawing your focus, allow it to enliven you, but maintain enough distance to check in with your heart and ensure the work decisions you are making fit with you. and if you are at a point where you just need security and stability, go on ahead and get what you need. even then, acknowledge if the labor you are consenting to is not your heart work so that you can calibrate how much of yourself you pour into whatever work you do to survive. not all of your work deserves all of you, dear one.
much will remain a mystery as you map out your next steps. what can you do but continuing finding ease, grace, and peace where you can?
the alchemy of a conversation is in the listening. in that generous space, especially when it is clear of projection or judgement, magic can happen—healing can happen. to truly be heard by another is a gift, and dear one, you are uniquely suited to offer that gift not only to others but to yourself as well.
what have you learned about the power of listening to invite unburdened communication with those you are committed to? how have you learned to become more aware of the truth of the matter by simply listening?
as mercury retrogrades through your seventh house of intimate relationships, how has your lack of awareness in the past deeply impacted those you are/were committed to? as you slowly heal yourself and come into healing others, know that this is a good time to hold space for those you could not hold space for in the past. of course, there are those who are not worthy of such devotion, but if there are past baes or intimate friends who seem to be coming up more than usual, ask your ruling planet (mercury) what hints they are trying to send you.
is it time for a conversation (or three) dear one?
and even if there are no words you need or want to speak for now, use saturn’s conjunctions with this coming new moon in sagittarius to help you deepen your commitments to relationships filled with co-healing and co-nurturing.
continue finding and creating sanctuary for the deep work you are doing and the wounds you are navigating. continue cultivating safety in your relationships so you can build deeply with your people and heal with them. revel in the divinity of being a person others can feel safe with, of creating environments where people can feel at ease. it is a rare and precious gift, dear one.
keep growing ever expansive in the ways you see and understand yourself, your divinity, and your magic. allow yourself to ponder the biggest questions of the universe and to contemplate what is means to be on this planet at this time, in your body, in your life, and how monumental it all must be.
honor your day dreams and wanderings, honor what disgruntles you about the current state of the world and allow it to fuel you toward creating a better world, one you have a hand in shaping.
if you are ready, use this coming new moon in sagittarius to make a commitment to your deepest passions and urges, to make a commitment to your soul and what it yearns for at the deepest levels, and/or to those in your life you are truly called to merge with.
what potential future visions are giving you the perfect balance of nerves and excitement? where are you finding lightheartedness and glee? who and what are bringing you joy?
from this buoyant place continue your work of getting free and journeying toward the knowledge that will change you at the soul level. find the teachers who can offer you the ritual and wisdom that will pull you into deep communion with your soul and your purpose.
let your curiosity guide you, let the unknown excite you.
be wildly devoted to the deep soul work you are being invited to do, the deep body work, energy work, sex work—anything that offers you the chance, for even a moment, to experience the transcendent magic of the divine.
may that magic only embolden you to continue on your path toward your self.